I made a mistake starting this project while in the middle of two performance projects. I have been way to busy to write on this blog. I take that back. I had my priorities skewed and did not make time to write on this blog. I allowed my schedule to fill up and I took on more work than was reasonable. The idea behind a gratitude challenge is not only to share ideas of gratitude with others. It has a primary purpose and that, for me, is to remind the writer of what is well in his world and how much he has to be thankful for. It is an opportunity to raise yourself up and redirect thoughts and emotion from a downward spiral to an upward movement.
Today is the first day in quite a while that I do not have anything pressing to do. Sure I have laundry and dishes to do. Those are part of the daily grind, the routine. Today I do not have costume care, rehearsal, workshop, editing, sound, writing, or any other festival or phantoms feast related work to do.
I am thankful to have a day to reset and relax. It has been 16 performance days at festival, and two of the four performance days for feast. Add to that the weekday prep, costume care, rehearsal, study and all the other things that go along with this thing we call Renaissance Festival and it has been months of work. Today is really the first time that is almost totally devoted to day to day.
Performance is an addiction of sorts. There is a feedback loop that you have with an audience that gives you energy and feeds your sense of self. There is also energy output. Sometimes festival performance energy vs feedback is out of balance and it can be very taxing. For those that are familiar with spoon theory, you start borrowing from the future in order to keep up with the pace. Yesterday was the day that those spoons came from apparently. I hit a wall like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t even remember much about yesterday. It just happened.
Balance is something that I need to make more important in my life. I must do a better job of managing my “spoons”, my energy, so that I don’t need a whole day time out in order to maintain.
Today I am grateful for an open schedule to recharge my batteries and find my spoons.