So, I have been in the habit of taking the weekend off from the blog, mainly because I have been so busy with other things on the weekend. Today my wife has a meeting at church and I have time to reflect on some stuff so I do what I do, and I start writing.
Yesterday was very strange for me. I don’t treat people the way I think they should be treated for any reason other than it simply is the right thing. There is never I hope or thought of any sort of reward or feedback loop. It is just what you are supposed to do. I am not going out of my way to do anything that shouldn’t be done. I just treat people the way I feel they want to be treated. Shouldn’t be a big deal.
I was overwhelmed with the messages I received with my birthday wishes. It is humbling and quite frankly a little overwhelming to think that I mean that much to so many people. I am not doing anything that should be considered extraordinary. I am just being nice. I received so many messaged that lifted my spirits and made me feel so good.
I see myself as a person with so many very obvious open flaws and imperfections. I get stuck in a space of these are the things that are wrong with me. These are the things that I do wrong. Then, one day, I get overloaded with messages of how I have impacted and helped people. It made me think of two things. The first, is what I do that extraordinary? Isn’t this how people are supposed to be treated? And the second is, what kind of self talk do we tell each other every day that tears down our self esteem and self worth?
Self talk, that quiet voice inside our head can be a monster. It is very easy to see our own faults so easily, but it can be so hard to see the good. Our mirror is broken. There is always work to be done and we focus so much on the work and not enough time on the success. Our self talk should include as many good elements about ourselves or our day as it does the negative.
Shadow work is important. Looking at the faults, the cracks and the work is so important to being a whole person, but shadow work is not an endless stream of negative self talk, picking away at every little imperfection. We need to celebrate our higher selves as well.
Should we all be self absorbed narcissists? No, but we should try to show ourselves some love every day. Yes we need to look for ways to improve and grow, but part of growing is loving yourself and knowing the good that you represent as well as your challenges. Sometimes our biggest growth point is the challenge of self love.
Yesterday the teacher was once again taken to school. My friends sent me gentle reminders to love myself and that the kindness I show others is important and should also be shown to myself.
Today I am grateful for gentle lessons