One of the most important elements of my recovery process has been finding ways to express what is going on with my mind and body. Being able to share what is happening in your bubble is so important when it comes to support, advocacy, and education. If you can’t adequately communicate where you are and what you need you can’t help yourself, you can’t ask for help properly and you can’t help other people.
There are many ways that I have expressed myself over the years. Most of that expression comes from blogging. Useful blogging, like this blog, I try to hang on to. When I was doing daily journals, I would burn them as an act of release at the end of each year. Blogging is a good way to share what is going on with you and perhaps give something useful to the reader.
Another way that I have tried to express myself is through art. This takes on different mediums. I have drawn, painted, created poetry, and created music. All of these things are expressions of who I am, where my head space is, and what I am feeling when I am in the process of creating that particular piece. I have done very little sharing of any of what I have done. Most of my art creation was personal therapy. The goal was never to share, until perhaps now.
I have always been a support person when it has come to any public performance of art. This has always been in the form of music and with one exception, it has always been in support of other performers and it has been very impersonal. I was recently asked to jump into that role once again. This would have been a very new experience for my in that the performance was going to be in support of a much different subject. I turned down that opportunity, not because it was another support role, but because it energy levels are so poor after a very taxing year.
It has got me to think, however. The thought that is now in my head is, perhaps I need to create a performance of public showing of, not what I can do as a support to another’s art, but as the artist. I have had a couple of ideas that have come and gone over the years and they have sort of gelled into one very interesting idea of multimedia expression of my recovery from mental illness and what it is like to be on the inside mental illness, and of those in support of said person. I have thought for a while that my path of expression wan in the form of a book, but perhaps not. Perhaps it is in compiling all that I do into one expression, one complete telling of a story that I feel is worth telling.
Today I think about how I express myself and my story. I express my story through my art.
Today I am grateful for art.